eatsyourscience | (no subject)

(no subject)

To begin with, it was Naoto's idea to check up on things in the TV world, and it had become so normal to spend rainy afternoons inside that Souji agreed without requiring much in the way of an explanation, though she provided one anyway. He agreed with all the points she made--that they should keep an eye on the movements of the fog, the density of shadows in various places, if anything had changed since Adachi's defeat--but more than anything, he was beginning to miss that world and the time they spent there.

Chie and Yukiko passed, and so did Kanji when Souji tracked him down at lunch, but Rise was happy to accompany them--a good thing, because Souji didn't think it would be wise to go in without her--and so were Yousuke and Teddie, who agreed with Naoto about the importance of keeping an eye on what was going on in that world. Souji couldn't blame him.

Inside, everything seemed the same. Even the damp smell, the feeling of the fog against his cheeks in odd juxtaposition to the way it vanished in the view through his glasses were the same. He asked Rise to do a scan of the area, but wasn't expecting her excited, staccato announcement that there was a new area she hadn't seen before.

When Kanzeon vanished, Souji glanced around to find everyone looking at him and he almost smiled at how comfortable it had become to see them relying on him. He gave a slight nod and with Rise directing him, led the way past locations they already knew.

They stopped when the ground disappeared in front of them. An expanse of open, empty space spread in front of them, filled with a swirling fog that he could see. Resisting the urge to remove his glasses and clean them, Souji squinted. All that was visible were what looked like several bare, unornamented platforms hovering in the air, each at a greater distance than the last from where they stood.

He looked around, then down, then took a step into open space. Rise called out after him, but trailed off when a walkway materialized beneath his feet, extending for a short distance ahead of him. A few steps across what looked and felt like smooth, gray stone confirmed that it would continue to appear ahead of him as he walked instead of leaving him to step blindly and hope he hadn't come to a corner without noticing. Hefting his sword a little higher, he looked back and nodded to the others that they should proceed.

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"...Correct, Rise," Naoto nods, now understanding this logical conclusion. Although he would be setting a new precedent, being the first to accept his shadow before a fight, "a fact must be inescapable. It means nothing if only you know it."

If Souji were the type to give away his feelings, he would squirm at this point. But he stands still and looks straight at his Shadow, taking him in.

"...I disagree." A thing could still be true even if he were the only one to know it. But that isn't going to get them anywhere. With a sigh, he adjusts his glasses. "But if it will end this, then it's fine."

He knows, as their leader, he should put up a fight, but he's exhausted. It's all he can do keep what remains of his defense in place.

"Please, senpai."

Yousuke hovers uncertainly. He knows Souji's back better than anyone, and from here, he sees the fatigue and weakness there. Normally, he could help when he saw such a thing, but now... He's not sure what he's supposed to do.

Souji doesn't know what he's supposed to do either. This was always so routine: stand back and watch someone let out their secrets and fears and worries, fight the monster, reassure the person. This isn't so simple. He knows his own secrets, his own short-comings; he's just never had to own up to them before.

He tilts his head, stretching his neck. Might as well dive right in.

"Take off the mask."

The Shadow's hand goes up, his fingertips brushing the mask. "Even when you're straightforward, it's calculated. There's nothing spontaneous about us."

Souji could argue, but knows there's no point. He waits in silence while his Shadow hesitates, and then takes the mask off, holding it cradled in his visible hand. The left side of his face and skull is gone, but it's not a gruesome wound so much as it's vacuous, the event horizon of a super dense black hole.

The wound continues down his neck and disappears under his clothes, though Souji's sure that that overly long sleeve is hiding a lot of nothing at all. Around the edges, his skin shows a network of fine cracks and the ragged edge wavers, as though his entire body is one cringe away from collapsing in on itself.

Souji says nothing. The others can make of this what they will.

Yousuke immediately makes the connection between this and Teddie's shadow... It was almost exactly the same. The thin outer shell that fell apart into infinite nothingness, that was so dense and vast it felt like it was sucking you in. Even moreso here, it looked like the shadow was going to crumble away and fall in as well.

What did it mean? Was it because he felt like he was empty as well? Like there was nothing that made him... himself?

Naoto is even more in the dark. She wasn't there for Teddie. And normally people's shadows were so dramatic it made it easy to discern their purpose. But this shadow was just like the real thing; quiet and calculated. Secretive.

"Souji, I don't understand," Yousuke speaks in pure at-a-loss honesty, "do you think-- there's nothing inside of you?"

"More now than there used to be."

Souji's voice is even, though he twitches when the Shadows follows up with:

"For how long?" He steps closer; the tarot cards follow, adjusting their orbits with a bit of wavering and wobbling. "After you leave here, what will happen to all the fragments you're trying to piece back together?"

"We will return those persona to senpai," Naoto says, in a tone of absolutes, "and by force if necessary."

Souji turns his head to look at Naoto. "He meant Inaba."

"Inaba?"

Yousuke understands much more quickly, probably because it was something more immediate on his mind. He understands the feeling.

"It's not like that. We'd never forget about you."

"I know."

This isn't something Souji wants to talk about, but to dismiss it would be counter-productive. It won't do him any good to point out that they won't need him anymore.

They need him now, though. As long as they were going in and out of the TV, they need him, because he's the strongest, the most versatile member of the group.

The Shadow smiles. "Don't you love this?"

Souji glares and moves forward. He's tired of this, tired of not getting anywhere, tired of this Shadow, just tired.

Yousuke's worried now. The appearance of the shadow, along with the things it was saying... He's starting to put together what Souji might be trying to hide. And if he isn't able to accept it, they'd all be in for the fight of their lives-- or the fight for their lives.

But he has no idea what to do. Should they fight it? Should he be backing Souji up with weapon in hand, or with a shoulder to lean on? He feels far away. Like he can't reach him anymore

The Shadow backs away, still speaking. "You're thinking that, in here, they have to depend on you. As long as this place exists, they'll need you."

Souji takes a swipe at the ring of cards circling the Shadow, grabbing for one at random. The Shadow's eyes widen and he sucks in a breath between his teeth as Souji's fingers make contact.

It's like reaching into himself, touching something unexpectedly hot and pulsing, something molten that was never meant to be touched by human hands. Souji's whole body locks up. His sword hits the ground with a scrape and a clang.

"Partner!"

Yousuke reaches out, taking his first step towards Souji to pull him away-- and at that very same moment, Naoto fires a single bullet at the shadow's head. This whole time, she hasn't left her stance, and had a clear shot.

Souji crumples, nerves screeching and raw as though a rasp had been taken every inch of them.

The Shadow doesn't even attempt to dodge; the bullet hits him and his head whips back under the impact, though he only takes half a step back to keep his balance. He doesn't follow Souji to the ground, though. Instead, he straightens, smiling as the rest of his face collapses in on itself, but he doesn't laugh like the other Shadows as his smile fractures and disappears.

The sucking, ravenous force inside him consumes him, leaving nothing behind but a dark hole in the air, the last remnants of the Shadow's form swirling around it and then disappearing.

Yousuke doesn't make it to catch him before he falls, but still throws himself over Souji for protection after Naoto fires her shot. The vacuum of air caused by the inward explosion suck him a few feet towards the black hole-- the others lose their footing as well. Yousuke fights for every inch, nails digging into the floor.

Inside the black hole, the Shadow is crushed and twisted and reformed, emerging again a moment later, before the vacuum he's created can do much harm. He holds a scale in one hand, a massive sword in the other.

His smile is serene now as he raises the scale to unleash a powerful Light attack, one not even associated with the Personas of this arcana, though it fits in with the powers of most of them.

"Samsara."

So they were battling this thing now? Fine. By now they almost prefer it this way.

But Souji isn't there to push them through.

Yousuke is still protecting their leader, and takes the KO hit, hanging on by the skin of his teeth. He works through the pain and tosses Souji's arm over his shoulder to drag him away from the fight.

Naoto, with her resistances, completely shrugs the attack off. She remembers his arcana. They're almost always vulnerable to Mudo... But only almost. Stronger shadows were often resistant. She had to think fast.

She makes her decision before it's too late, and casts Mudoon.

Rise dodged the attack only because she was outside of its range and while the Shadow does his best to block the Dark attack, she hurries forward to help Yousuke. "I'll take care of senpai! You go help Naoto-kun!"

Mudoon doesn't KO the Shadow--he's much too strong for that. But it does make him rethink this particular tactic. Samsara knocked Teddie flat, but only for the moment, and that isn't enough. It's not nearly enough.

He adjusts, collapsing in on himself once again. Reforming himself isn't pleasant and it's not nearly as fluid as it always has been for Souji, changing one mask for another. The Shadow doesn't understand this difference, as though somehow he isn't in balance the way he should be, and that feeling just makes him ache, cavernous and echoing. He hates it. He hates that he never feels full, never feels content, even though the thinks that Souji probably has felt that way, or close to it before. So how can they possibly be the same person?

He reemerges, this time with a vessel in either hand, each spilling water that never runs out. It makes him feel more confident, the idea that even if he is hollow inside, he'll never run out of space. He'll never have to stop taking things in.

He lashes out with one vessel and then the other, sending a spray of water from each that combined turn into the powerful frost of Niflheim. He ignores the feeling that something isn't right in the combination of this arcana and that attack.

Yousuke, by stroke of pure luck, dodges the attack-- and in good timing. Even as gravely damaged as he is, he can still pull off a masukukaja, giving everyone the bonus of evasion. They're going to need stat boosts if they hope to match up to this shadow.

Naoto gets hit, but survives. She's still trying to find a pattern or weakness, but it's not clicking. From his appearance, it looked like he should be the Star, which was a varied arcana, but bufu wasn't a commonality among them... She curses her inability to read the enemy, right when they need it the most.

"Stay alert! It's attacking erratically!"

Edited 2012-05-18 04:07 (UTC)

"I can't get a good reading on him!" Rise stands in front of Souji, trying to scan the Shadow. "His strengths and weaknesses keep changing!"

Teddie's back on his feet now and doling out healing spells. The Shadow uses Niflheim a second time, but has a feeling he'll have to change again to keep being effective. It's frustrating, not being able to switch as easily as Souji should be able to, and he hates that it hurts him when it never hurt Souji.

"It's just like Souji! It can change!"

The team is finding that the best way to deal so far is by staying light on their feet. If they can dodge and heal effectively, they can spend as long as they need to slowly chipping away at his health. It's still just one shadow. If Souji could join them, they'd really gain the upper hand... Yousuke looks back to check on their leader, but he seems to be just as comatose as they were when they had to fight their shadows.

The Shadow continually reforms himself, attacking with the strongest attacks Souji's Personas have at their disposal, but somehow he gets the arcanas and the attacks more and more mixed up, unable to keep them straight any longer. Everything seems to blur together for him, fragmenting and then melting, colors and forms and names made meaningless.

Panta Rhei, Ragnarok, Die For Me, Black Viper, Hassou Tobi, Pralaya, Thunder Reign, Vorpal Blade, Samsara, Morning Star, Salvation, Salvation, Salvation. Then start over, shuffle the order, try to remember their names and their elements.

How does he do it?

Finally he finds himself emerging from the darkness of his hole unable to hold onto any particular form. He shifts without having to retreat first, unable to control it any longer. Personas he hadn't even stolen start to emerge: one of Metatron's wings and one of Sraosha's, Cybele's horns, Lamia's tale, Norn's clock face and Fortuna's wheel. Rangda's claws. Barong's fangs. On one side, a white and black arm emerges hold Nebiros's marionette. On the other, Alice's face peeks through, pouting. Seth, Makami, Tam Lin, Asura, Mara, Ara Mitama.

Izanagi.

What is he what is he who is he.

Yousuke looks up in terror.

They'd been run ragged by all of the attacks already. They were on what was almost their last legs just keeping up with what was being thrown at them by the ever-changing shadow. Attack after devastating attack, with no rule and no quarter. they couldn't do it. It simply wasn't possible.

But he hadn't felt the fear until now. The real, palpable, lung-rattling dread of death wrapping its cold hands around his throat. He can clear see his body crucified on some telephone pole, a new victim of a closed case, staring up into the screaming eyes of this intangible being.

How could this have been inside Souji? Only so distantly does it remind him of the real thing, when during battle he would look to his side and see the endless potential of his partner that truly made him so dangerous. Now it was all of it trying to burst free at once.

"Stand together!" He hears Naoto scream what sounds like so far away. It was all they had left. He digs his heels in and refuses to give another inch.

Naoto's voice reaches through the thick fog in Souji's soul and it made him realize it wasn't as silent there as he'd thought. He can still hear echoes, voices that sound like his friends, his classmates, everyone else he knows in Inaba, and beyond that, he can hear Igor and Margaret and all of the myriad voices recorded in Margaret's book.

Without opening his eyes, he starts to push himself up. They need him. The need him and he's not going to let them down. They've given him more than they will ever know, too much for him to leave them hanging. It's him they're fighting, after all, or some part of him, and he has to take responsibility for the things that came out of him as much as he has to take responsibility for his actions or his words.

It's hard to get to his feet, but he manages it. The Shadow screams at him, but he can't tell if it's furious or plaintive, and he doesn't have to open his eyes to know what kind of pain the Shadow's in because it was his to begin with.

"It...it's okay."

Rise turns her head to look at Souji. "S-senpai...?!"

Souji doesn't answer, staggering forward, pulling his glasses off as he does.

"--Senpai?"

Naoto turns her head to see him stumble past. She has a split second to decide what to do.

She believes in him.

She looks forward instead of behind. The screaming horror reaches forward with tendrils to try and grab Souji, but she shoots them down before they can touch him. Make an opening. That was always how they worked.

Yousuke stands ahead, knife in hand, completely intending to be the first one to fall. It was more than just being his duty as second in command. He wanted to. He wanted to protect Souji. He heard the pain in his shadow, and he knew how much it hurt. Whatever was inside of him, even if he didn't understand. Souji was there for him then and he'd be there for him now.

How did that give him the courage to face this? He had to grin a little in spite of himself.

"Come on, ugly! I'm over here!"