eatsyourscience | (no subject)

(no subject)

To begin with, it was Naoto's idea to check up on things in the TV world, and it had become so normal to spend rainy afternoons inside that Souji agreed without requiring much in the way of an explanation, though she provided one anyway. He agreed with all the points she made--that they should keep an eye on the movements of the fog, the density of shadows in various places, if anything had changed since Adachi's defeat--but more than anything, he was beginning to miss that world and the time they spent there.

Chie and Yukiko passed, and so did Kanji when Souji tracked him down at lunch, but Rise was happy to accompany them--a good thing, because Souji didn't think it would be wise to go in without her--and so were Yousuke and Teddie, who agreed with Naoto about the importance of keeping an eye on what was going on in that world. Souji couldn't blame him.

Inside, everything seemed the same. Even the damp smell, the feeling of the fog against his cheeks in odd juxtaposition to the way it vanished in the view through his glasses were the same. He asked Rise to do a scan of the area, but wasn't expecting her excited, staccato announcement that there was a new area she hadn't seen before.

When Kanzeon vanished, Souji glanced around to find everyone looking at him and he almost smiled at how comfortable it had become to see them relying on him. He gave a slight nod and with Rise directing him, led the way past locations they already knew.

They stopped when the ground disappeared in front of them. An expanse of open, empty space spread in front of them, filled with a swirling fog that he could see. Resisting the urge to remove his glasses and clean them, Souji squinted. All that was visible were what looked like several bare, unornamented platforms hovering in the air, each at a greater distance than the last from where they stood.

He looked around, then down, then took a step into open space. Rise called out after him, but trailed off when a walkway materialized beneath his feet, extending for a short distance ahead of him. A few steps across what looked and felt like smooth, gray stone confirmed that it would continue to appear ahead of him as he walked instead of leaving him to step blindly and hope he hadn't come to a corner without noticing. Hefting his sword a little higher, he looked back and nodded to the others that they should proceed.

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"We're ready to go when you are, partner."

Rise's scan doesn't turn anything up and Souji isn't surprised. He waits until she's given them the news and then heaves himself back to his feet. He gives everyone a moment to prepare, then steps onto the next platform.

It's less that the next set of fights are more difficult than those before and more that the group has already reached its limit. With no choice but to move on, they batter their way through Fortune, Justice, and Star, leaving Souji with three Personas and no energy by the time the last platform comes into view.

That last platform has to be the last one, the number reading 22. Everyone takes a slight pause. If they were right, Souji's shadow would be just beyond, and if that was true, what might be the most difficult fight of their lives.

"Let's just run right in," Yousuke says, out of breath, "If we stop here we'll lose momentum. We can't afford to slow down now."

"For once, I agree with Yousuke-senpai. I think we've already done our deliberating."

"Let's do it, sensei!" Teddie stands on one foot, his opposite arm raised high.

With a nod, Souji steps forward and immediately stumbles as his last three Personas disappear. His mind, his heart are suddenly empty, silent, cavernous. It's dizzying and nauseating and he just wants to lie down on the ground and not move.

"Woah, partner--!"

Yousuke's arm is immediately out to catch Souji as he stumbles. He looks around, fully alert for any sort of danger, but he doesn't see anything... It's so vast and empty, even moreso than before. Naoto holds her pistol out in front of her, steady as can be, turning in slow and careful circles as she maps out the area.

It's not until he's absolutely sure he can that he looks to Souji again.

"You okay? What happened?"

"They're gone."

He's short of breath, like the air in his lungs is solidifying.

There's a soft laugh that makes Souji look up. He swears there was no one there when they stepped onto the platform, but he's there now. He is. Or a part of him, he guesses.

It's surreal, looking at his own Shadow. He's seen all the others, withholding judgment because no one can be all roses and rainbows and candy, everyone has something they're hiding, but he's never faced himself like this.

He doesn't look right though, and it's not just the yellow eyes. The left side of his face is hidden by a mask and the hole over his eye shows only blackness, no yellow glow. The arm on that side of his body is hidden by a sleeve that's much too long, though the rest of his clothes look the way they should. Souji doesn't know what that's about, but he's not giving it much thought just now.

"They're..."

Yousuke stops his sentence short. He answers his own question.

Persona.

But he doesn't have time to sympathize. As soon as that shadow appears, all he can do is focus on the task at hand. If he didn't they may all very well end up dead.

This isn't like other shadows though. They don't feel like they have the luxury to reason. Even Naoto's insatiable curiosity is dampened by the desperate nature of their current situation. She doesn't even tilt her gun down. She's ready to pop a cap in this thing's forehead if the conditions look right.

"What are you?"

The Shadow isn't in nearly as much of a hurry as them, but it is part of Souji. It's not the type to rant.

Deadpan sarcasm, on the other hand, it can do.

"If you don't know that, I've really underestimated you all this time."

This was positively unnerving. In the past, the pattern had always been that when they met a shadow, it was from someone they didn't know, or had just met. It was a stranger, just like they were. But now to face the darkest sides of their trusted leader...

"You'll have to forgive me," Naoto bites back, "I'm afraid we've never met a shadow in this way before."

"Everything's been really methodical, hasn't it? Even the unpredictable things were." The Shadow tilts his head and looks to the side. "Especially me. I guess you can't appreciate these kinds of surprises."

"Humans tend to react badly when their lives are in danger, yes," she replies, pistol still trained on the shadow, "This surprise isn't exactly on our terms."

Yousuke looks to Souji. This was his shadow. It was up to him...

"Partner?"

Souji nods and draws himself up to his full height. It's time. He has to do this.

His Shadow watches him, then holds up his hands, one still hidden in his sleeve, fanning out a set of dark blue cards. He looks at them.

"I have something that belongs to us. To you. To me. But they look really fragile when I see them this way. Little fragments of a person."

He drops the cards and they circle him like satellites.

Calm as ever, at least on the outside, Souji steps forward. "I'd like them back."

Naoto glances at him sideways, and with what looks like reluctance, takes a step back. She lines herself with Yousuke

"An extremely powerful shadow, as we predicted. The others before it were most likely drawn to him... And any smaller ones would quickly clear the way."

"You say that like you're not also a part of me, Naoto. Like you weren't also drawn to me."

Souji wants to make a distinction here, a correction. These are his friends and his Personas and his unbreakable bonds. He clenches his teeth around the words, because this is a part of him and he has to accept it. He knows that. But it still feels like he's facing a thief.

Rise comes to his rescue, at least momentarily. "Don't worry, senpai! No matter what parts of you we haven't seen, you're still you."

Souji and his Shadow offer her synchronous smiles.

Naoto falters. A part of...? The shadows words make her think back to the time that Souji helped her solve her mystery, and help her remember what she loved-- being a detective! And she has no idea why. Being drawn. How was someone drawn to another person?

"It's okay man," Yousuke tries to reason along with Rise, "This is nothing. We've been through enough, it doesn't matter what this guy can say. What we have can trump anything he has up his damn sleeve!"

"It does matter."

Souji frowns but the Shadow continues.

"It matters, Yousuke. It matters because it's something you don't know about the guy who knows everything about you. It matters to you, maybe even more than it matters to me. It'll make us even."

Yousuke pauses for a split second-- and he hates himself for it. He bristles quite visibly to have such a thing mentioned and used against him. That was important, and private, and special.

"We're already even. Don't bait me with something like that, it won't work."

The Shadow winces as though in pain and brings his right hand up to hug his left arm close against his side, cradling it. "If you can't accept me, how am I supposed to accept myself?"

"What kind of question is that?"

Seriously. Yousuke responds like that automatically, but after he says it, he does wonder. What did this thing possibly have in common with Souji?

"Souji and I are cool. He knows I accept him. I don't know what you're going on about."

"What do you know about me?"

Souji shakes his head. This can't go further or it will become even more uncomfortable for everyone.

"Enough." He's glad that his voice is firm, even if he's still shaky on his feet. "We can do this without them here."

The Shadow cringes again. "How can we when they're a part of us?"

"Souji, don't--"

Yousuke is confused. Really confused. He didn't think Souji had anything he wanted to hide from others... But maybe the fact that he didn't think so was a testament to Souji's ability to hide in the first place. And even he was, he had no idea what it could possibly be.

It scared him.

"It would be inadvisable to face your shadow alone, senpai."

It's Naoto's way of saying, we're a team.

"I'm not going to deny him." He has absolutely no intention of embroiling everyone in a fight they might not be able to win.

"Isn't sending them away the same thing?"

Souji clenches his teeth, but the Shadow continues.

"Even if you know it's the truth, if you can't admit it in front of them, doesn't that mean you don't accept me?"

"...He's right, senpai." As much as Rise hates to admit it.

"...Correct, Rise," Naoto nods, now understanding this logical conclusion. Although he would be setting a new precedent, being the first to accept his shadow before a fight, "a fact must be inescapable. It means nothing if only you know it."

If Souji were the type to give away his feelings, he would squirm at this point. But he stands still and looks straight at his Shadow, taking him in.

"...I disagree." A thing could still be true even if he were the only one to know it. But that isn't going to get them anywhere. With a sigh, he adjusts his glasses. "But if it will end this, then it's fine."

He knows, as their leader, he should put up a fight, but he's exhausted. It's all he can do keep what remains of his defense in place.

"Please, senpai."

Yousuke hovers uncertainly. He knows Souji's back better than anyone, and from here, he sees the fatigue and weakness there. Normally, he could help when he saw such a thing, but now... He's not sure what he's supposed to do.